Being a working mom with two kids is kind of like watching a movie on fast forward - you hope to catch the good parts, but blink and they've whizzed on by.
Just taking care of my kids used to take me all day, and now I have to meet all their needs during the hour before I go to work and the few hours after work before they go to bed.
Those needs, of course, range from emotional things like assurance, acceptance and love to practical things like help with reading, writing and problem solving. There is also an endless list of wants coming at me, but we're working on learning that, like the song says, you can't always get what you want. I like to sing that song to them when they're really bugging me for candy or something else unnecessary. Sometimes the song doesn't go over well with my eight-year-old, but my four-year-old likes to hear it and it helps me keep my cool.
Being a working mom is a difficult balance. You either learn to do it all faster or let some of it go. I alternate between the two.
Some days I'm Super Mom making breakfasts, packing lunches and backpacks, slathering sunscreen and offering counselling sessions in the hour before work, then giving it my all for eight hours at the office and rushing to pick up the kids in time to make dinner, hear about their day, play a little, wash them and get them to bed. Once they're in bed, of course, there's clean up to be done, laundry to be washed and preparation for the next day's craziness before I can rest my head.
Some days I'm just too tired to do it all, and on those days the cleaning usually suffers. Once I saw a wall plaque that said something to the effect of "my house is a mess because my kids are well taken care of," in some clever rhyme. I didn't buy it at the time, but I've wished it was hanging on my wall many times since.
There are the weekends, of course, to catch up on the housework and have some family time, but my husband works evenings and weekends to try to help save on daycare costs, so I end up single-moming it a lot, which also zaps my energy. I don't know how you single moms do it! You amaze me.
So with all that's needing to be done at home, you might wonder why I'm working. The answer is twofold - money and selfishness.
I'm a happier mom when I work. As much as I want to be at home with my kids, when I'm there all the time, I find I have less patience and I'm more grouchy.
I love my kids, but I need some me time, and for me work is that time. It's a chance to do what I love and get a little praise for my work, which doesn't come often at home. Although I know my kids and husband appreciate me, it's that kind of silent gratitude that remains unsaid, and I prefer hearing it. But more than the flattery, I like getting a paycheque. Many times when I was a stay-at-home mom, we visited the food bank, borrowed money we could never repay or put off bills until collectors called. For the first time in three years, my bank account isn't in overdraft and I'm just giddy about it!
So I've made the choice to be a working mom, and although it comes with challenges, it's the right choice for me. My kids are happy and well taken care of, we have food in the fridge, the bills are paid, and I can go to sleep at night knowing I've done my best.
Work also comes with the benefit of holidays, and recently I got to push pause on that fast-forwarding movie of my life to appreciate some time with my family. We had enough fun in seven days to last the whole year, and I feel like the balance has been restored.
