We're about to enter what we cuttingly clever newspaper types call silly season. If all the rumours are true, we'll not only have the scheduled municipal elections but a federal election too. And they'll just barely be over when the provincial election will take centre stage.
With those events in mind, I consider it my duty to offer some advice to would-be politicians.
First off, join a local Toast-masters Club. Just because your kids, your spouse and your paid employees tell you you're the most scintillating speaker to come down the pike since Winston Churchill doesn't mean it's so. Screw your courage to the sticking point, go and speak to several honest strangers and find out just what it is you need to do so as not to bore the voters. There is a fate worse than speaking in public; it's speaking in public badly. And it's amazing how many budding politicians are good at that.
Secondly, don't wait until you're running for office to suddenly be polite to your local ink-stained scribe. Some of us have amazingly long memories and the many times you've refused to return our calls or have implied we're less than impartial because we've quoted you saying something you'd just as soon not have said will probably influence how long it takes us to return your call. We realize it's not easy being in the public eye, and most of the time we admire you for the amount of time you invest for the public. But kindly realize being a politician doesn't make you god, with a big or a little 'g'.
Thirdly, if you're going to invest all that time and money into becoming a politician, do your homework. Find out what is important to the folks you want to represent. Don't presume you know - ask. Most of the time, if you haven't bored them to sleep with a poor speech, they'll be more than happy to tell you just what it is they care about.
And finally, cherish your friends and family. Remember just who it is that truly cares about your well-being and who actually gives a hoot as to what's important to you. Because no matter how important you may become in the world of politics, being turfed is always only one election away. And when that sorry day comes it won't matter whether you were the speaker of the year or the most caring individual who ever listened to a voter - you'll still need a shoulder to cry on.
And with any kind of luck, you'll have one.
