Language is such a funny thing. Words that delight one person can have an entirely different effect on another. And while I don't think it ranks up there with loud snoring or a quiet affair as a marriage breaker, some language usage can challenge the strongest of marital bonds.
For instance, my normally mild-mannered husband took great offence at my friend wishing me a "Happy New Year" a full (gasp) six days after the turning of the calendar. "How much longer do I have to listen to that?" the curmudgeon asked.
In my absolute innocence, I replied that the greeting would continue until I ran out of people to bid best wishes to. Whereupon he asked one of those stupid rhetorical questions similar in tone to the bridge-jumping statement your mom would haul out when you'd said or did something particularly dense.
"What if you see someone for the first time in May, are you going to wish them a Happy New Year?"
Well, who knows? Perhaps I just might. In any case, I hope he's there to witness the exchange. After all, everyone knows it's the little annoyances that count the most.
Of course, our differences of opinion on word phrases don't end with greetings.
All of us are aware of fad expressions. I recently read a tirade from a man who absolutely hated the overuse of the word "absolutely" particularly when it was used by the half-full crowd as a one-word sentence. He may have a point, but I think he has absolutely too much time on his hands.
Those of us with perverse natures sometimes delight in deliberately using those phrases that elicit the same reaction in our partners as fingernails on a blackboard. For instance, I ask you, just what is wrong with saying "pretty much?" It seems to me to be an appropriate answer to many things:Are you tired of the rain? Are you sick of wondering what's wrong with Roberto Luongo? Do you think we'll be arguing about smart meters into our collective dotages? Insert pretty much anywhere, and it fits.
Except my husband doesn't think so. To him it's one of those overused replies that ranks right up with "Have a nice day" or "Are you guys ready to order?" (the word guys is another hot button). Now lest you think I have pretty much nothing to do but complain about this poor guy who can't defend himself (actually, he would say chooses not to defend himself), I hasten to tell you he can pretty much out-cook any man on the planet.
Therefore I have made but one resolution for 2012. I pretty much will stop saying pretty much, at least in his hearing. In the meantime, Happy New Year, honey.
