I've recently been trying to resurrect my pride after whispers in the community left me feeling unappreciated, untrustworthy and incapable.We get a lot of negative feedback here at the paper. Not to say we don't ever get cards of thanks or kudos from readers (I have a drawer full) but it's that negative feedback that stings and seems more prevalent at times. Lets face it, most of us are much more eager to write a scathing letter in anger to someone who has "done us wrong" than a thank you note for a job well done.Recently rumours have been flying about my work ethic and I've heard through the grapevine some have said they don't think I've been doing a very good job here at the paper.I have a recent performance appraisal that says differently, and I've been told by many in the newspaper business not to let the naysayers bother me. Normally I wouldn't, but normally I could speak to the person who accuses me of not living up to my job description, hear their side of the story and add my two cents. I could then decide if I erred or if the person just interpreted the story inaccurately. That happens. Each person has their own past and experiences that shape their perceptions. People will often read something into a story that's not there, especially people who have preconceived ideas about the author.The problem with the rumours and whispers is that no one has come to me face-to-face to address these issues. Therefore I'm left wondering what exactly the "issues" are.Some light was shed on this when I got an email from someone I've done a few stories on and felt I had a good working relationship with. She asked in her email that I be sure not to misquote her which made me grit my teeth. Obviously my job is to accurately quote people and present an honest interpretation of the situation and that's something I feel I have always done. The same woman later sent me a note of thanks for the story after it ran and I felt somewhat vindicated.I remember when I first came to the Coast to work at Coast Reporter. I was fresh out of journalism school and had something to prove. So when I heard about a recreation referendum I jumped on it, however I had no idea of the recreation referendum past on the Coast. My editor at the time didn't either and after the "breaking news" story came out many in the community were furious with me. I wondered if they'd come and burn effigies of me on my front lawn. I couldn't handle the anger raised in the community and ended up crying underneath my desk telling myself I should never have moved here and should never have tried.It was a huge dose of reality for me and I was forced to grow a thick skin quickly or give up on my dream of being a reporter.Luckily there were seasoned vets in the business who helped me see it wasn't the end of the world and helped me learn to take everything with a grain of salt.So I became more resilient, but secretly I always listened to those angry voices, at least a little bit. I turn those negatives into positives now and strive even harder to prove those people wrong. Still, I'm human and attacks on my character upset me. So if anyone wants to talk to me I'm here and I'm willing to listen. Rumours don't help anyone. Let's deal in truth.
