Welcome, tourists, to the Sunshine Coast, Gateway to Powell River and home of the world's largest gravel pit.
A good time is guaranteed to all visitors. It never rains here, especially not during outdoor events like the sandcastle competition or the jazz festival. The sunsets are all pink and golden, and the fish still bite the way they did 10 years ago. Ferry lineups don't exist.
In fact, the ferry is pure fun! It's a quaint, scenic ride, old-fashioned and retro, sort of like the Royal Hudson or one of those horse and carriage tours in Victoria. So relax, enjoy the view, and don't worry about that incident last year where the engine burst into flames. B.C. Ferries has looked into the problem and assures everyone it will never happen again. Indeed, that little conflagration was so unlikely that it barely even happened in the first place. So let's not mention it ever again, shall we?
The ferry isn't the only thing on the Coast that hasn't changed in 30 years. Time pretty much stands still around here; that's the charm of the place. The Beachcombers is still being filmed at Molly's Reach, believe it or not. Refer to the show as "Beach," with just the right tone of casual complacency, and you might pass as a local. Just don't blow it by asking what happened to the Persephone; that's a bit of a touchy subject.
And for all you nostalgia fans, get this: we have hippies! No kidding. Roberts Creek is crawling with them, some actually dating from the 60s and still freaky after all these years.
The second generation of love children from the communes is keeping the traditions alive.
They're getting to be a bit of an endangered species in the Creek these days, though, what with the real estate prices and all. It will be a sad day when the only indigenous hippies left are the pot growers and the bitter sell-outs to The System. Maybe some philanthropist could buy a few hectares of forest off Lockyer Road as a hippie habitat preserve.
One of the best attributes of the Coast for tourists is that it's hard to get lost, since there's really only one road. Directions can be confusing, though, so here are some translations for local terms. North means the direction on Hwy. 101 that will eventually take you to Earls Cove. For most of the highway, it's actually west. Similarly, south means east. Up is the same direction as north (that is, west) while down is east (but never down east), the same as south. Back east is anything on the other side of the Rockies. So from Sechelt you could go down to Gibsons, up to Pender, over to Nanaimo or back east to Calgary.
Knowing all that won't help you find anything, but at least you'll know why the sun is blinding you when you're driving north. Or you could keep things simple and remember there are really just two directions on the Sunshine Coast: the water side and the land side.
Enjoy your stay.
