With Mothers Day approaching this Sunday, I thought I'd use this space to honour mothers and talk a bit about what being a mother means to me.
It's amazing how motherhood changes you. I remember when my best friend Jayme became a mother and I was still in the "I'll never have kids" phase of my life. She seemed to drop out of existence. We never saw her at parties and she rarely had time to talk on the phone about important things like boys and clothes. I thought she was being mean and selfish and trying to pull away from our friendship. That's the feeling that stayed with me until May 20, 2003 when I gave birth to my daughter Kaitlyn. Then I got it.
Jayme wasn't trying to pull away from me and stop "having fun" with the girls. She had gone through a major life shift that meant she was no longer living for herself - she was living for her child.
Every moment of every day was dedicated to her daughter, to helping her grow and learn and develop. She didn't have a lot of extra time to hang out with us girls, and being a single mother, she had little time left even to think about herself. In hindsight, it should have been a time I made the extra effort to come see her, talk to her about her day, encourage her amidst her struggles, but I've learned over the years that I don't understand things fully until I've lived them.
Now that I've lived being a mother for nearly three years, I can say I understand the meaning of sacrifice, of living your life completely for another person. My number one priority now is raising a healthy, happy, loving and compassionate child who will one day impact the world with what her father and I have tried to instill in her.
I've learned a lot from other mothers, and the best mothers I've met are those who admit they don't know everything. Except for a few hard-core pros, I don't know many mothers who don't spend the nine-month build-up to a baby with noses planted firmly in parenting books. Many take advantage of prenatal classes and get involved in parent support circles because they realize there is benefit to hearing other viewpoints and simply being around other moms who are going through the same things.
I think the word Mom should really be the short form for Move Over Me, because that's what I have to tell myself every day when my daughter wants a little more of my time and attention. I still struggle with my selfish nature that wants it to be all about me from time to time, but at least for an hour or so this Sunday it will be. If you're a Mom, I hope you get some recognition this Sunday for all you do to enhance your children's lives. I know it can be difficult to be a Move Over Me, but never give up. Just meet with other moms and vent, because no one understands a mom like a mom, and play-dates bring sanity!
Happy Mothers Day.
