How many times have you taken an all-or-nothing approach to taking a break from alcohol? How did it go? After the holidays, many people commit to a “dry January,” only to discover it can be overwhelming and more challenging than expected. There are many reasons this happens, and it begins with reflecting on our relationship with alcohol.
Alcohol is a psychoactive substance, which means that it influences how the brain works, causing changes in mood, awareness, thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Its widespread availability and the stigma surrounding substance use often make it harder for people to reflect on and address their relationship with alcohol.
Reducing how much we drink starts with a self-compassionate yet honest look at what alcohol provides for us socially, emotionally and physically. By identifying the factors that influence our alcohol use, we can adopt a more realistic and sustainable approach to making short- or long-term changes.
As a counsellor working with clients who are exploring their alcohol use, I see how each person’s story is unique and shaped by personal circumstances, beliefs, and history. For instance, alcohol might be a way to cope with severe social anxiety or to numb feelings of grief or sadness. Some may have a family history of substance use or a genetic predisposition. Others might use alcohol to unwind after a long and stressful day of work or caregiving. Whatever the reason, understanding the connections between social, emotional and physical factors is a vital step toward meaningful change. So, what might this process look like?
Start by asking yourself questions about your relationship with alcohol: What role does alcohol play in my life? Does it help me relax, cope with stress or feel more confident? What situations or emotions trigger my urge to drink? How does alcohol affect me both immediately and over time? Does it temporarily relieve stress but worsen my sleep, mood, or health? What are the benefits and downsides of drinking and how might life improve if I reduced or stopped?
Once you have a clearer picture of your experiences, you can begin setting goals. For example, if someone uses alcohol to manage stress, they might set a goal to replace drinking with an activity like going for a walk. Instead of committing to this change for an entire month, they could start with small, manageable steps, such as trying it out for a few days. Then do a check-in: Does a walk help reduce stress? Are there other activities that might be more effective? Or would it make sense to start by cutting back to one drink at the end of the day and including a walk?
It’s important to acknowledge that change is rarely simple or straightforward. Progress often comes with setbacks — and that’s entirely normal. The key is to keep returning to your goals, making adjustments, and moving forward, even when it feels difficult. A self-compassionate mindset helps us stay connected to our deeper motivations and prevents us from getting stuck in feelings of failure or shame.
While New Year’s resolutions and “dry January” can be a helpful starting point, meaningful change takes time, patience, and persistence. Be kind to yourself as you work toward your goals, and remember that every small step you take makes a difference.
Sarah Tesla is a counsellor on the Sunshine Coast who supports the diverse needs of clients in rural and remote communities. This column is informational and is not intended to be a substitute for counselling support or services. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health or substance use, please seek professional support.
