As the mother of two young daughters, aged one and three, I never thought I’d want a bigger family. But recently, I’ve found myself contemplating having a third.
My husband and I have talked through the various considerations, both practical – I’m turning 40 next year, do we want to go back to the newborn phase, do I want to step away from my company for a third maternity leave – and emotional – how fun would it be to have a big family on holidays.
But in the midst of challenging economic times, much of the discussion has focused on the increased cost. Ultimately, choosing to have a child in Canada in 2024 is not just an emotional decision but also a financial one.
You likely already know how expensive it is to raise a child (spoiler alert: a 2023 Statistics Canada study pegged the cost at more than $350,000 from birth to 17 – for that you could buy a small yacht).
All Canadians have felt the pinch of rising shelter, food and transportation costs. And while you can budget and prepare for some day-to-day expenses such as diapers, food, baby gear, and child care, others are curveballs.
I didn’t think soaring food prices would hurt much until the teenage years, but now I know toddlers can eat an $8 pint of raspberries at every meal. I thought I’d get a break with the arrival of $10-a-day daycare, but what I didn’t realize was that living in rural Prince Edward County meant there was one subsidized daycare centre with a 200-family waiting list.
Now that I’m considering a third, my eyes are wide open to the true cost, and the list of both essential and non-essential-but-almost-required costs is long, from birthday parties to extracurriculars to the latest TikTok parenting fad: Do I really need a $50 bento lunchbox when my kid doesn’t even go to school? Social media says yes, my wallet says no.
But those aren’t the costs that give me pause about expanding our family, since I know interest rates are dropping, inflation is easing, and our family’s earnings will hopefully grow in the coming decade.
It’s the big-picture considerations in our hypothetical future family of five, like needing a larger vehicle to fit three children and all our stuff, or a bigger house to accommodate everyone and work-from-home office space, or the added cost of bringing an extra child on family trips. A parent recently told me that the world is made for families of four, and it’s certainly easier to find houses, cars and hotel rooms that fit smaller families.
Then there are the really big picture aspirations we have for our kids, such as paying for their education so they don’t have to take out student loans, and gifting them money to start a business so they can follow in our entrepreneurial footsteps.
Are these things essential to raise a child in a loving family? No, absolutely not. Could we live in a smaller house or not take trips? Of course. Our daughters have food on the table, a roof over their head and parents – and grandparents – who adore them, so these are nice-to-haves. But we’re dreaming big for our kids, just like we dreamed big when starting our business.
Since we run an estate planning company, we also think a lot about future planning. Having another child means taking out bigger life insurance policies, and thinking about how their future inheritance would now be split into thirds, not halves. We’re in the middle of the largest wealth transfer in history, so while it might seem silly to plan that far in advance, we’ve seen the power of forethought and we want to leave a positive financial legacy for our kids.
Our discussion about kids really boiled down to one key takeaway: If money was no object, we would try to have another child in a heartbeat. But as it stands, as entrepreneurs with a growing business and many financial pressures, we just can’t make that decision yet. From diapers to inheritances, the true cost of a third child is just too great.
I’m sure I’m not the only parent or aspiring parent considering holding off owing to finances – both immediate pressures and long-term aspirations. Maybe interest rate cuts will trigger a baby boom in 2025. Until then, I’ll be hunting for secondhand decorations for my daughter’s third birthday party.
Erin Bury is the co-founder and CEO of online estate planning platform Willful.co. She lives in rural Ontario with her husband and two young children.
